If you are obsessive-compulsive:
Please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent:
Please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities:
Please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional:
We know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are schizophrenic:
Listen carefully--a little voice will tell you which
number to push.
If you are manic-depressive:
It doesn't matter which number you press.
No one will answer.
IF YOU REALLY WANT HELP
DIAL G O D !!!
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