We gather in a Wesleyen style Class meeting on Monday nights at Clapps Chapel UMC. this blog is an outpouring of the growth that occurs there.

Gabe Davis

Church Ladies With typewriters . . .

They're Back!  Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for  church
ladies with typewriters. These sentences  (with all the BLOOPERS) actually
appeared in  church bulletins or were announced in church  services:  

The  Fasting & Prayer Conference includes  meals. 
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The  sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'  The sermon tonight:
'Searching for Jesus.' 
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Ladies,  don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to  get rid of those
things not worth keeping around  the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember  in prayer the many who are sick of our community.  Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell'  to someone who doesn't care much about
you. 
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Don't  let worry kill you off - let the Church help. 
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Miss  Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way  again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the  congregation. 
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For  those of you who have children and don't know it,  we have a nursery
downstairs. 
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Next  Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They  need all the help
they can get. 
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Irving  Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October  24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began  in their school days.
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A  bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the  church hall. Music
will follow.. 
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At  the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will  be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our  choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due  to the addition of several
new members and to the  deterioration of some older ones. 
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Scouts  are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items  to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple  children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope  along with the deceased person
you want  remembered..
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The  church will host an evening of fine dining, super  entertainment and
gracious hostility. 
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Potluck  supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication  to follow.
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The  ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of  every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on  Friday afternoon.
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This  evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in  the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket  and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies  Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM  . All ladies
are invited to lunch in the  Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. 
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The  pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the  Congregation would
lend him their electric girdles  for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. 
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Low  Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7  PM . Please use the
back door.
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The  eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's  Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM . The  congregation is invited to attend this 
tragedy. 
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Weight  Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First  Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door  at the side entrance.
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The  Associate Minister unveiled the church's new  campaign slogan last
Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge -  Up Yours. 

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