They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church
ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually
appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:
'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about
you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow..
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered..
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the
back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
The story is told of a man who met God in a lovely valley one day.
“How are you this morning?” God asked the fellow.
“I’m fine, thank you,” the man replied. “Is there anything I can do for you today?”
“Yes, there is,” God said. “I have a wagon with three stones in it, and I need someone to pull it up the hill for me. Are you willing?”
“Yes, I’d love to do something for you. Those stones don’t look very heavy, and the wagon’s in good shape. I’d be happy to do that. Where would you like me to take it?”
God gave the man specific instructions, sketching a map in the dust at the side of the road. “Go through the woods and up the road that winds up the side of the hill. Once you get to the top, just leave the wagon there. Thank you for your willingness to help me today.”
“No problem!” the man replied and set off cheerfully. The wagon pulled a bit behind him, but the burden was an easy one. He began to whistle as he walked quickly through the trees and warmed his back. What a joy to be able to help the Lord, he thought, enjoying the beautiful day.
Just around the third bend, he walked into a small village. People smiled and greeted him. Then, at the last house, a man stopped him and asked, “How are you this morning? What a nice wagon you have. Where are you off to?”
“Well, God gave me a job this morning. I’m delivering these three stones to the top of the hill.”
“My goodness! Can you believe it? I was just praying this morning about how I was going to get this rock I have up to the top of the mountain,” the man told him with great excitement. “You don’t suppose you could take it up there for me? It would be such an answer to prayer.”
The man with the wagon smiled and said, “Of course. I don’t suppose God would mind. Just put it behind the other three stones.” Then he set off with three stones and a rock rolling behind him.
The wagon seemed a bit heavier. He could feel the jolt of each bump, and the wagon seemed to pull to one side a bit. The man stopped to adjust the load as he sang a hymn of praise, pleased to be helping out a brother as he served God. Then he set off again and soon reached another small village at the side of the road. A good friend lived there and offered him a glass of cider.
“You’re going to the top of the hill?” his oldest friend asked.
“Yes! I am so excited. Can you imagine, God gave me something to do!”
“Hey!” said his friend. “I need this bag of pebbles taken up. I’ve been so worried that it might not get taken care of since I haven’t any time to do it myself. But you could fit it in right between the three stones here in the middle.” With that, he placed his burden in the wagon.
“Shouldn’t be a problem,” the man said. “I think I can handle it.” He finished the cider, then stood up and brushed his hands on his overalls before gripping the handle of the wagon. He waved good-bye and began to pull the wagon back onto the road.
The wagon was definitely tugging on his arm now, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. As he started up the incline, he began to feel the weight of the three stones, the rock, and the pebbles. Still it felt good to help a friend. Surely God would be proud of how energetic and helpful he’d been.
One little stop followed another, and the wagon grew fuller and fuller. The sun was hot above the man pulling it, and his shoulders ached with the strain. The songs of praise and thanksgiving that had filled his heart had long since left his lips as resentment began to build inside. Surely this wasn’t what he had signed up for that morning. God had given him a burden heavier than he could bear.
The wagon felt huge and awkward as it lumbered and swayed over the ruts in the road. Frustrated, the man was beginning to have visions of giving up and letting the wagon roll backward. God was playing a cruel game with him. The wagon lurched, and the load of obligations collided with the back of his legs, leaving bruises. “This is it!” he fumed. “God can’t expect me to haul this all the way up the mountain.”
“Oh, God,” he wailed. “This is too hard for me! I thought you were behind this trip, but I am overcome by the heaviness of it. You’ll have to get someone else to do it. I’m just not strong enough.”
As he prayed, God came to his side. “Sounds like you’re having a hard time. What’s the problem?’
“You gave me a job that is too hard for me,” the man sobbed. “I’m just not up to it!” God walked over to where the wagon was braced with a stone. “What is this?” He held up the bag of pebbles.
“That belongs to John, my good friend. He didn’t have time to bring it up himself. I thought I would help.”
“And this?” God tumbled two pieces of shale over the side of the wagon as the man tried to explain.
God continued to unload the wagon, removing both light and heavy items. They dropped to the ground, the dust swirling up around them. The man who had hoped to help God grew silent. “if you will be content to let others take their own burdens,” God told him, “I will help you with your task.”
“But I promised I would help! I can’t leave these things lying here,”
“Let others shoulder their own belongings,” God said gently. “I know you were trying to help, but when you are weighted down with all these cares, you cannot do what I have asked of you,”
The man jumped to his feet, suddenly realizing the freedom God was offering. “You mean I only have to take the three stones after all?” he asked.
“That is what I asked you to do.” God smiled. “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. I will never ask you to carry more than you can bear.”
“I can do that!” said the man, grinning from ear to ear. He grabbed the wagon handle and set off once again, leaving the rest of the burdens beside the road. The wagon still lurched and jolted lightly, but he hardly noticed.
A new song filled his lips, and he noticed a fragrant breeze wafting over the path. With great joy he reached the top of the hill. It had been a wonderful day, for he had done what the Lord had asked.
- from the book by Joanna Weaver “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World”
God is always working even when things look bleak!
A man from Norfolk , VA called a local radio station to share this on Sept 11th, 2003, TWO YEARS AFTER THE TRAGEDIES OF 9/11/2001.
His name was Robert Matthews. These are his words:
A few weeks before Sept. 11th, my wife and I found out we were going to have our first child. She planned a trip out to California to visit her sister. On our way to the airport, we prayed that God would grant my wife a safe trip and be with her. Shortly after I said 'amen,' we both heard a loud pop and the car shook violently. We had blown out a tire. I replaced the tire as quickly as I could, but we still missed her flight. both very upset, we drove home.
I received a call from my father who was retired NYFD. He asked what my wife's flight number was, but I explained that we missed the flight.
My father informed me that her flight was the one that crashed into the southern tower. I was too shocked to speak. My father also had more news for me; he was going to help. 'This is not something I can't just sit by for; I have to do something.'
I was concerned for his safety, of course, but more because he had never given his life to Christ. After a brief debate, I knew his mind was made up.. Before he got off of the phone, he said, 'take good care of my grandchild. Those were the last words I ever heard my father say; he died while helping in the rescue effort.
My joy that my prayer of safety for my wife had been answered quickly became anger. I was angry at God, at my father, and at myself. I had gone for nearly two years blaming God for taking my father away. My son would never know his grandfather, my father had never accepted Christ, and I never got to say good-bye.
Then something happened. About two months ago, I was sitting at home with my wife and my son, when there was a knock on the door. I looked at my wife, but I could tell she wasn't expecting anyone. I opened the door to a couple with a small child.
The man looked at me and asked if my father's name was Jake Matthews. I told him it was. He quickly grabbed my hand and said, 'I never got the chance to meet your father, but it is an honor to meet his son.'
He explained to me that his wife had worked in the World Trade Center and had been caught inside after the attack. She was pregnant and had been caught under debris. He then explained that my father had been the one to find his wife and free her. My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of my father giving his life for people like this. He then said, 'there is something else you need to know.'
His wife then told me that as my father worked to free her, she talked to him and led him to Christ. I began sobbing at the news.
Now I know that when I get to Heaven, my father will be standing beside Jesus to welcome me, and that this family would be able to thank him themselves .
When their baby boy was born, they named him Jacob Matthew, in honor of the man who gave his life so that a mother and baby could live.
This story should help us to realize this: God is always in control.
We may not see the reason behind things, and we may never know this side of heaven, but God is ALWAYS in control.
Handy Chart
GOD HAS A POSITIVE ANSWER:
You say: 'It's impossible - God says: All things are possible ( Luke 18:27)
You say: 'I'm too tired- God says: I will give you rest ( Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: 'Nobody really loves me- God says: I love you ( John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )
You say: 'I can't go on- God says: My grace is sufficient(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: 'I can't figure things out - God says: I will direct your steps(Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say: 'I can't do it'- God says: You can do all things ( Philippians 4:13)
You say: 'I'm not able'- God says: I am able(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: ‘It’s not worth it -'God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )
You say: 'I can't forgive myself -' God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: 'I can't manage'- God says: I will supply all your needs ( Philippians 4:19)
You say: 'I'm afraid -'God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear ( II Timothy 1:7)
You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'- God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
You say: 'I'm not smart enough-' God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: 'I feel all alone'- God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
Spiritual Gifts
Today we are thinking together on the title "You Have A Spiritual Gift". The Bible teaches that all of us as Christians have one or more spiritual gifts. Have you discovered your gift or gifts? There are many different surveys to help individuals discover their gifts. I am suggesting one that deals with some of the gifts mentioned in the Bible. You can find it at www.churchgrowth.org/analysis. Click to take the test as an individual. It is free. You may find that you have a gift that will help to build our team at Clapp's Chapel!
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