A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.
However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and sold his sister’s jewelry to buy a gun. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving
people.”
Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: “I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.”
Moral: Never, never, never be late!!!
THE OLD PATHS
I liked the old paths, when
Moms were at home.
Dads were at work.
Brothers went into the army.
And sisters got married BEFORE having children!
Crime did not pay;
Hard work did;
And people knew the difference.
Hard work did;
And people knew the difference.
Moms could cook;
Dads would work;
Children would behave.
Dads would work;
Children would behave.
Husbands were loving;
Wives were supportive;
And children were polite.
Wives were supportive;
And children were polite.
Women wore the jewelry;
And Men wore the pants.
And Men wore the pants.
Women looked like ladies;
Men looked like gentlemen;
And children looked decent.
Men looked like gentlemen;
And children looked decent.
People loved the truth,
And hated a lie.
And hated a lie.
They came to church to get IN,
Not to get OUT!
Not to get OUT!
Hymns sounded Godly;
Sermons sounded helpful;
Rejoicing sounded normal;
And crying sounded sincere.
Sermons sounded helpful;
Rejoicing sounded normal;
And crying sounded sincere.
Cursing was wicked;
Drugs were for illness.
Drugs were for illness.
The flag was honored;
America was beautiful;
And God was welcome!
We read the Bible in public;
Prayed in school;
And preached from house to house.
Prayed in school;
And preached from house to house.
To be called an American was worth dying for;
To be called an American was worth living for;
To be called a traitor was a shame!
To be called an American was worth living for;
To be called a traitor was a shame!
I still like the old paths the best!
'The Old Paths' was written by a retired minister who lives in Tennessee .
Is it for Tax Purposes?
Stewardship
Father O'Malley answers the phone.
'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
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sometimes it takes a little prodding.
Father O'Malley answers the phone.
'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
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sometimes it takes a little prodding.
Love Is Not.
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